NEW SEASON NEW BLOG

You can find me here:

http://MichelleMinus100.blogspot.com

For the past month, I've been increasingly desperate every single day about my fatness. I MUST overcome.

In the past, when I've tracked calories, I've used my spreadsheet. I've learned so much doing this! In order to lose weight, I'm going to have to KNOW what I'm really eating and tracking calories will only be for a season. I've decided to join MyFitnessPal.com in order to track my calories more efficiently and enter into the process of reducing calories and increasing my exercise.

One thing I've come to realize is that the morning walk is not optional. I thought the health bounce on the rebounder would replace walking, but at my low level of activity, it just hasn't. I can see the potential, though, if I was doing more than a health bounce. This means I've gained weight because I haven't been walking. I had to order some new, bigger shirts. This of course, isn't the direction I want to go!

As I've been digging in with what I need to do, I've decided that I'm in a new season. These past two years have been incredible when I look back and see the changes I've made. But I can sense there's a new season right in front of me. That in order to lose weight, I need to get more focused and develop a plan based on what the Lord's told me to do. For two years, I've been focused on the freedom of NOT DIETING, but obeying what the Lord tells me to do. Counting calories at this stage for me isn't about restriction, it's not about dieting, it's about accountability and telling myself the truth.

I've decided to start a new blog for this new season. I'm not ditching this blog, I'll be referring to it on the new blog, but I won't be updating this one regularly as I'll be doing my processing on the new blog.

PLEASE FIND ME AT MY NEW BLOG HERE:

http://MichelleMinus100.blogspot.com

Biking

I've been bike riding the past two sunny days! I LOVE IT!

We have a paved trail nearby and I've mapped out the flattest parts of the trail. There's a 2.5 mile stretch (5 miles round trip) that is really challenging. Even a little elevation gain puts me into hard breathing. I can do it in about 30 minutes.

This is good exercise!

The Gabriel Method Update

It's only been a few days, but I'm really enjoying the evening visualization mp3! It is deeply relaxing and I like listening to the affirmations. Tomorrow I'll watch Video #6 while I walk on the treadmill and rebound on the trampoline. I'm really stoked about my new routines with exercise and sleep!

You can get the Evening Visualization mp3 for FREE here.
http://www.thegabrielmethod.com/free-stuff

My Current Exercise Routine

OK, so I get more exercise than just chopping chicken! I bought a turkey breast from Costco and chopped it up for my husband's salads. I weigh 100g of turkey for him and 60g of chicken for me and put the portions in zip bags and store in the freezer. We have one or two nights a week where we have salad together for dinner while the kids have Cheesy Chicken Casserole or Mac n Cheese.

I really want to improve my strength (Get Strong).

Right now I'm doing:

treadmill (just starting to get back to walking, doing 10-15 minutes at 2.5 and no incline)

fitness blender easy warm up on YouTube

rebounding (15-25 minutes of health bounce)

This is more exercise than I've ever done before! This is completely sustainable and a good baseline from which to intensify.

What to work up to...I'd like to be walking a minimum of 30 minutes on the treadmill with some intense intervals, I should probably START with the warm up video and I like to bounce as a reward for the rest of it. I purchased the "10 Minute Trainer" kit and I'll look forward to starting that when I'm ready for more. I'm eager to use the resistance bands which came with the kit!

Better Sleep

I've been feeling desperate and looked back on the things the Lord has been telling me to do. Back in April of 2012, He told me to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. The past few months, I have really been getting to bed later and getting up later! I haven't had total victory in this area, so it is time to focus on this.

I asked Him what specific times I should go to bed and get up the other day. 11pm and 6:30am. Kids can have lights out at 10pm and then I can get myself in the sheets ready to sleep by 10:30/11:00pm.

I set my alarm to go off at 6:30am.

I've done this the past two nights. I feel fantastic!

Treadmill

My clothes feel tighter.

I stopped walking outside in November and started rebounding inside. This has been good for the health of my lymphatic system, but I don't think it has really given the same health benefits as walking. I'm going to keep bouncing, but I've been thinking about just going back to my neighborhood walks...but then...my friend Christi said, "Have you considered a treadmill"?

Well, yes, in fact, I have. My husband has been wanting one for a long time, but I didn't want one because growing up we had one that never got used. I figured it would just be a waste of money and assumed it wouldn't actually get walked on.

So I listed my objections...my main one was "how do I research which one to get?"

She said, "Just go on Craigslist and buy something for $200 or $300, they all pretty much do the same thing."

So I did!

The first one we found only had a maximum weight of 250lbs, which wasn't going to work for my husband. And the lady sold it out from under us, which turned out to be a blessing.

The NordicTrack has a wide tread, which I was thinking would be good for my husband, giving him plenty of room (I'm finding that I like the room, too)! The model I found nearby is good up to 375lbs. I think I got a good one!

We got it into the TV room and it is HUGE! Thankfully, we found a great place for it! It now lives out of sight in the easy-to-access office!

I LOVE IT! I can set up the laptop and watch and listen to whatever I want. Though I'm missing out on some Vitamin D from walking outside, I really don't miss having to grab a coat, drive to the neighborhood where I walk, put on my headphones, etc. This is SO EASY! I also like that I can control my PACE. I'm walking faster on the treadmill and I'm going to experiment with incline. I think I can program it with incline and speed intervals, but I haven't figured that out yet.

The Gabriel Method

I did a Google search on "why can't I lose weight" or something close to that and found an article by Jon Gabriel. I then looked at his website, TheGabrielMethod.com, and I'm intrigued. Here's a man with a testimony! He lost 220lbs without traditional methods. His photos are astonishing. How can that be the same person!? I mean, it is the same person, but he is completely transformed. His story is inspiring.

This is interesting.

There is a measure of truth that resonates with me, so I think I'll read the book (I actually signed up so I can watch the videos of the book and it also gives me access to some recipes and mp3s among other helps).

I'm really enjoying watching the videos. More to come.

Two Years

Wow. TWO YEARS I've been at this. I remember my first month way back in January of 2012.

This has truly been a step-by-step process because I would not have been able to make these big changes in my life if it weren't for little steps at a time.

I am committing to 2014 being the year I lose 100 pounds.

The inside transformation I've been experiencing for two years can finally show up on the outside in 2014 as I increase my exercise and improve my nutrition.

I've been walking in the mornings for TWO YEARS.
I've been eating more fiber each day for TWO YEARS.
I've been cutting down on refined sugar for TWO YEARS.
I've been watching my portions for TWO YEARS.
I've been drinking more water for TWO YEARS.
I've been eating a salad each day for almost a YEAR AND A HALF.

I have a solid foundation to build my weight loss upon. I'm really ready to do what it is going to take to lose weight.

As I've been thinking about this, some interesting emotions have come up. I've been dealing with them as they do. One weird thing is that I feel hesitant to lose weight because I'll need to spend money on a whole new wardrobe. As FUN as that will truly be, there's also a financial component that is holding me back. I need to solve this by starting to save now for the new clothes I'll be needing. I also have some weird thoughts about being "sexy" that I need to work through. I wonder if I've used my weight to hide somehow. That's a raw thought that I'm not sure I want to really admit, but I'm willing to look at it in order to get free.

I'm excited about what's to come!

Fitness Blender Free Workout Videos

In my recent searching online for ways to "get strong", I found a site called Nerd Fitness and wanted to try the workout...but I needed to warm-up first. That's when I found this 5 minute "easy warm-up" by Fitness Blender.

I've done this before bouncing for about three days and I can tell I'm already getting better at it! The plan is to do it a few days and then do it twice for a few days (or more).

I also added a brisk one mile walk by Leslie Sansone into the mix. I was having hip issues when I did this last year, but I'm going to go easy on the side-to-side moves and see if that helps my hips not hurt.

The other day, I did a 1/2 mile walk outside my house. I'd like to be walking again, but hate driving five minutes to a sidewalk to take a walk. On the nicer days this winter/spring, I'm going to see if I can do a little outdoor walking on my busy rural road, we'll see how that goes.

I think I've underestimated what I can do physically. I haven't wanted to exert myself to the point of becoming disinterested because a workout was too hard. I've wanted to focus on the HABIT of exercising and less on the intensity. But now it is TIME to up the INTENSITY since the habit truly is in place. So I'm looking for something sustainable, a workout for right now at 225lbs that I can actually DO and not become discouraged.

Walking outside and/or inside, rebounding health bounce and more and maybe a strength workout might be the direction to take. I'm also working on upgrading the nutrition on our dinners, too.

Get Strong

I've been spending a lot of time researching workouts the past few days.

I need to do something MORE. The health bouncing is really awesome, but I need to bump it up and GET STRONG.

Options:

-go back to walking: now that it is getting lighter again earlier, that could happen. I would want to listen to some kind of "paced" workout on the iPod

-do a trampoline/rebounder workout: can't find anything I really connect with

-resistance band workout: I found a few DVDs I might try, I think I could actually DO these

-10 Minute Trainer by Tony Horton the P90X dude and do what I can
-Fitness Blender on YouTube has some workouts for free, not sure if I could even do them

Sleek Water System

This is too good!

Just an update on water...this system has become SLEEK!

It takes 12 gulps to finish a bottle of water. If I swig three mouthfuls at a time, that means I only have to "drink" four times per bottle. Each morning I put TWO BOTTLES the bathroom. With each trip to the bathroom, after washing my hands, I take three swigs. It's pretty easy to go to the bathroom a minimum of eight times per day (because I'm drinking so much water!), so there's two bottles done.
I drink TWO BOTTLES while bouncing each morning-easy-I put them on my desk and drink away while I'm rebounding. That leaves ONE BOTTLE remaining. I consume that bottle with any meal and I'm DONE!

I used to work sooooo hard at trying to get my water down, now I do it so easily without even thinking or applying myself! Yippppeeeee!

Some Things I Really Want to Do

There are some things I really want to do, but my current frame won't support such activities. It's like this photo of the gray mist blocking out the sun...I want freedom from fat so I can live life more fully.

-I want to do more difficult hikes...at this time, any hike with "ridge" in it is virtually impossible and I don't even consider putting it on the hike bucket list, but I get a natural high from being on top of a ridge or mountain and I'd like to do more of that
-When we were at the Ape Caves in 2013, there were two choices, the easy and the hard. I want to go back and do the hard-because I can.
-The Gray's Harbor lighthouse has 137 steps...I want to walk up and down with confidence and vigor when we finally visit!
-I've always wanted to try kayaking...I think I'd get STUCK in the opening, not to mention the blood circulation would probably be cut off "sitting" too long.
-I had various opportunities to ride horses when I was young, I would LOVE to ride a horse again (without causing it injury).

Mostly at the moment, my ideas of freedom revolve around being outdoors and being able to do more strenuous activities on the weekends. Recently, I've actually had the thought that I'd enjoy travelling with my family to Europe, something I would only want to do if I was thinner.

Of course, there's the everyday realities of being able to buy cute clothes (not just ones that have elastic waistbands), having more energy, LOOKING BETTER and being healthier. But what motivates me right now more than any of the things listed above, is leaving the misery of a guilty conscience and overcoming in this area! The Lord has brought me here to have me overcome and have victory and freedom-I want to cooperate!

Year in Review-2013

I never thought I'd drag out this process as long as I have, but that is reality, so I'm owning it and being honest about it.

I first posted on January 27, 2012...that's almost TWO YEARS AGO. Even though that seems like a long time, these two years have not been wasted, even though I'm still about the same as my starting weight. Not all is lost because I've actually grown in wisdom and good habits during that time, but that also means it is time to move forward and not stay in this place...I need to keep growing, or rather, losing! When I started this blog, I really thought I'd see immediate results and I would be documenting weekly weight loss for about a year, that this blog would just be a documentary of my shrinking figure. Oh my word, I had no idea what really needed to change was many lifestyle choices. I would say I've been successful in the way that I haven't given up, I keep striving to improve my efficiency in these areas, but not to the point of dying to my flesh the way I know I need to in order to see weight loss results.

Here's what I learned last year in 2012:
I learned a lot this year! I spent a lot of time WALKING and I've never done that before! I learned how to increase my fiber and eat a salad-a-day. I learned that I can reduce my cow's milk intake dramatically, decreasing the sugars I consume.
What I learned this year in 2013:
-My "bad fruit is telling on me". I am fatter than ever and everyone can see it! I've "lost" about two pounds. I'm utterly miserable in my plump state.

-If I want to influence people, I need to truly overcome and have good fruit in this area of my life. (LESS of me!)

-I did lose 12 pounds in May 2012 following the Lord's principles that He's given me-it works! What have I actually been doing the rest of the time? Thinking a lot about it all and not actually engaging or obeying my conscience. That tells me something important...I don't REALLY want His ways if I'm not surrendered in dying to my fleshly appetite. So I must ask myself...do I REALLY want His ways or not? This needs to be contemplated and acted upon. Am I going to move forward and obey His leading through my conscience or not? I already know the answer, please help me Lord. My ways literally lead to death and I don't want to do it my way any longer. I want to cooperate with you no matter how difficult it may seem right now.

-Half of this past year was spent "wrestling" with a diet that I never decided to DO or NOT DO, until now. I am NOT doing it and I'm relieved to realize I actually needed to make that decision and I've made it. In writing that previous sentence, I realized I needed to leave the Facebook group and I just did that, which will be very good for me. This diet that entered my life in July has been a major distraction...I never felt it was from the Lord for me to do, but I flirted with it a lot. It is not for me right now in my process. I'm really grateful for my friend sharing it with me, though, because it got me using coconut oil, which is just awesome! Thank you Lord!

-Tracking in general does not help me! (I love setting up tracking sheets for myself!!) I seem to do a lot better writing down "goals" and then being Spirit-led in each moment about reaching them. Tracking seems to put my focus on "perfection" rather than obedience.

-There are things I REALLY WANT TO DO and my weight is holding me back from living to my fullest desires. That just stinks!

-Buying brownie mix in bulk and having it at all times in the pantry "for special occasions" is too tempting for me!

-I've been looking everywhere ELSE "for answers" instead of dealing with what is right in front of my face. I've been checking out many different library books (I never read them) on dieting, looking online for before and after photos of others and enjoying weight loss being posted in the Facebook group I just left. Lord, I'm so sorry I have been looking outside of what you've provided for me, thinking I need something else or something more. There is no other besides You. I'm so sorry.

-I don't see drinking coconut or almond milk as a sacrifice, I truly prefer it over cow's milk, though I prefer to cook with cow's milk. The only reason for the move is to reduce sugar intake.

-Eating more fiber and salad and drinking more water has truly become a habit and lifestyle change that I don't see abandoning-ever. I can see how exercise, more veggies and water have allowed me to have a more active life these past two years because if I wasn't doing those things, I probably would have gained even more weight instead of holding pretty steady!

-The change from walking outside to using my rebounder (trampoline) inside has been a really good one for me. I'm exercising more consistently and more days per week (like EVERY day) and reaping benefits-I feel great and LOVE exercising this way. I do think my body misses the time outside for the little sun exposure I was getting, though. As I lose weight, I know I'll need to increase my activity, but for now, the walking has been sooooo good for me on many levels.

With regards to going through a process of learning to love sacrificially over the past three years, I see some contrasts to my process of losing weight and I want to document some specifics here:
-I obeyed immediately to every nudge to my conscience and I engaged in battling my flesh (I have not entered this kind of serious process with my weight yet)
-The Lord did not reveal "the next step", it was a Spirit-led process and every moment was surrendered (The Lord HAS seemed to reveal to me all the steps ahead of time. Knowing this has not necessarily made it easier to obey)
-I knew the Lord had all the answers I needed, I didn't need to look "out there" (In this process, I've spent the past months, "looking out there", when all I need is right here)
-I had no clue how the process would look and I thought it would take a lot longer than it did. (I had ideas about how this process would look, I expected to see fruit immediately and go through the process in a year).

Here's the facts:
-I haven't lost any weight since May 2012 when I lost about 12 pounds. I've gained back most of them. I'm about 227 and I started at nearly 230. That's not really an improvement on the scales, but I've made many good life changes in the past two years and haven't gained more over 227.
-For my health, I need to do this. I can't stay at 220+, I've GOT to get into a season of losing.
-I know if I obey, I'll lose (or WIN)!

I'm not going to make any big declarations here. I know what it looks like to be surrendered because I've experienced it in my process of learning to love sacrificially in my relationships. I want to apply that to my process here. There are a few important things I need to take with me in the days and weeks and months to come:

-I can no longer procrastinate...NOW is the time, there IS no other time, 2014 is year three in this process
-do I REALLY want His ways? If I love Him, I will obey Him.
-I know how to listen to the Lord as He speaks to me through my conscience, I need to join with Him and cooperate with His leading
-I need to engage in battling my flesh with the same intensity as I've done before, I will have to battle more than once for each temptation, but my spirit will get stronger while I weaken the grip the flesh has on me (this gives me a lot of hope!)

The Chocolate Problem

I have eaten A LOT LESS chocolate this year! But...

but...

but...

I don't think it is realistic to NEVER eat it (and the Lord isn't telling me that anyways). Part of what the Lord wants me to do is NOT eat all the candy I used to eat. That's what "cut out obvious refined sugars" means. I totally have permission to eat a couple cookies when my daughter is making homemade cookies or enjoy a special dessert prepared for my birthday. Treats made out of love may be eaten in moderation. I need to avoid extra sweets that have no personal "relational" value...like the random Halloween candy, for example. I need to avoid daily foods or treats that are high in processed/refined sugar.

Except...

there seems to be times when I MUST have some chocolate. It doesn't mean I have to eat A LOT of it, I just really want a little taste. I don't know if that means I need some more magnesium or zinc, but it would be awesome to find a way to have nibbles of chocolate at those times which I crave it. And this isn't every day. There just seem to be times when I highly crave it and it can easily be quenched with a morsel. This is not an indulgence issue, this is a self-governing, few tastes sort of thing. Can I find a morsel that isn't sugary?  If there's a way to get this taste/texture without sugar impact, then why not? If there's no sugar hit, I'm not feeding the monster, but living moderating and in reality. It is a long term, living real life sort of thing. This issue needs to be examined and a solution needs to be discovered.

There ARE two solutions I'm pretty excited about...one is DIY and the other is "buy it at the grocery store"...I prefer the second.

Skinny Chocolate comes to me via Trim Healthy Mama...it's made with coconut oil (the coconutty flavored one!), cocoa powder and Truvia and I like to include chopped peanuts and shredded unsweetened coconut. This really meets the need. I only have a small portion and that satisfies. They also have a recipe that I like for fudge that fits the bill, too.

So these two recipes are available and are to be made ahead of time in pre-portioned small bites stored in the freezer.

Another, more favored selection is Midnight Reverie (duh duh dum)! At 86% cacao, it packs the flavor punch without the sugar hit!
One square breaks down like this:
60 calories
6g fat
4g carbs
1g sugar
and there's even a whole gram of protein and a whole gram of fiber in this little guy!

Since these squares easily break into quarters, that gives me four luscious bites...often I only want one or two of the quarters because they are bitter. This easily provides the chocolate taste/texture satisfaction I'm looking for!

Midnight Reverie comes in individually wrapped squares or in a large chocolate bars (the squares are the same size). Recently, they went on sale and I bought a bunch. No guilt chocolate...now that solves the "chocolate problem" for me!

God's Principles for Michelle's Weight Loss

Principles is a new name for "Things He's Telling Me" and I think I might just start calling them Principles when I refer to them in the future.

This is a place to review what the Lord has told me to do over the past two years. When I started asking Him in 2012, He started answering me by impressing His wisdom and communicating to me through my conscience. The past two years have been spent striving to implement these principles (aka-surrendering and obeying). I started keeping track on this blog when I sensed His nudgings through my conscience. How grateful I am, Lord, for your leading!

Two years into my process, there's a refinement to the original commands:

-Morning Walk has become Morning Rebound with YouTube Video and iTunes Playlist
-Eat More Fiber Daily has become Eat Fiber One Cereal Daily
-Drink More Water Daily has become Drink 5-16.9oz Water Bottles Daily
-Stop Eating Obvious Refined Sugar has become No Obvious Refined Sugar (unless special occasion or relational event) or Low-Sugar-Hit Chocolate Morsel for Cravings
-Count Calories will soon become For 2014, 1200-1500 Daily Calories
-Get Up Earlier/Bed Earlier (I've been improving my evening bedtime lately)
-Get Strong (I'm starting to think this is for later when I need to up my exercise)
-Eat One Salad Daily has become Eat (at least) One Salad Daily (sometimes I have a hearty salad for dinner, too and I've eaten a salad for breakfast on occasion)
-Eat Half Dinner Serving (working on this for 2014)
-Release from Walk if Start Dancing (released to rebound instead of walk in 2013)

Right now I feel really good about the following principles:
-Morning Rebounding
-Daily 5 Water Bottles
-Daily Fiber One
-Daily Salad
-No Obvious Sugars

The rest need some attention.

Bouncing in Sussex

Love rebounding every morning! This has been a great series! He also has a fantastic video of his trip to New Zealand, too.

Rebounding at 14,000 Feet

I am not inspired to write much, which doesn't happen very often. These are the darkest days of the year as we approach winter solstice...ah, only 11 more days until we start back the other way. It is gray and dreary this morning.

But not on Mt Whitney!

I bounced up to the summit house this morning!

I've been thinking about things I'll be able to do when I lose weight and that's been inspiring me.

Bouncing Down the Grand Canyon

I tried a new video today. A marathon through the Grand Canyon, whoah! There are six of these videos. The trailhead is at the top and the run goes down, down, down. Some of the path is really narrow with scary drop-offs! It was fun to watch!

Bouncing and Breakthrough

Over the past three years, I've been in a process to gain the hearts of my children. I've been learning to love them sacrificially and the Lord has done a beautiful work in turning our lives around.

I've been comparing my process in learning to love with my process of losing weight.

I haven't really lost any weight recently and am totally stalled in what should be a process of turning my health around. I've spent some time with pen and paper evaluating what the difference is between my two processes.

Last week I got serious about obeying what the Lord has so graciously told me to do in order to lose weight, in order to be free of so much of me, in order to turn my health around. I am very much in process of understanding it, but I know I CAN obey without understanding it all.

I had a huge breakthrough in eating half of dinner a few nights and engaging in putting down my flesh when I felt tempted to eat sugar. He really makes it easy, when I cry out to Him. I find that I've been silencing my conscience in order to indulge my fleshly desires for more food and sugar, denying the fact that's He's already given me instruction...I'm not engaged, not obeying, and of course...not seeing any results toward weight loss.

I keep going back to the basic few things He's told me to do...am I doing them?

Walk: I'm bouncing 20-30 minutes per day and I think I've only missed two days since I started-LOVE IT and feel disappointed when the time is up and I have to stop. What a gift to not have to leave my house to take my walk. I love pulling the trampoline in front of the computer, stretching and bouncing! I'm not doing cardio and I'm not taking my feet off the mat, just bouncing up and down and moving my arms to keep my rhythm. They call that the "health bounce".

Fiber: It is pretty easy for me to eat my 30 grams plus unsweetened almond milk each day. Sometimes I do have this as a late afternoon snack on days when it doesn't get eaten for breakfast. I'm finding that I really like the Silk brand because it is a thicker, more substantial consistency.

Water: I'm doing it! Five water bottles per day (this is REALLY working) as long as I'm at home, I can pretty much get these down every single day. 82 ounces. Daily. Yay!

No Sugar: This means NO SUGAR-daily. I've put some Skinny Chocolate (THM recipe) in the freezer for times I feel I can't live without a sweet. It has zero impact on my system and satisfies when I need some chocolate. I also need to engage in putting down my flesh when I have urges to eat sugar. I realize that I haven't been engaging AT ALL, but now I am...it is making a huge difference.

Salad Daily: I've been doing SO MUCH BETTER eating my salads. I feel great when I do and I LOVE to eat them...once they are assembled! It helps if I start putting my salad together in the morning, tossing in the lettuce so when I get hungry, I can just start tossing stuff in the bowl.

Half of Dinner: I've actually done this for a few days...wow! Thank you Lord, I feel terrific!

Putting all these things together should result in losing weight. :)

Another Way to Track Water Intake

You know, I'm always looking for the thing that works best for me.

I always lose my water bottle around the house. Using a piece of yarn has been the best method for me so far. I've been trading off two bottles for some time and I've wanted to do this very thing with five bottles for awhile. I love the counting backwards and have applied it to this method. I like being able to see all the day's water in one spot. So here we go!

I Keep Bouncing!

I know I'm getting benefit from this! Rebounding boosts the lymphatic system. Very invigorating, I'm loving this!

Rebounding This Morning

I won't give up. I'm going to figure this out. This morning was a breakthrough for me!

We only did the Walk at Home walking a handful of times because it hurt our hips. I was doing some other intense stretching, and tweaked my foot/arch/ankle area. I've been having trouble walking-anywhere. I haven't done any exercise in about two weeks...I feel awful! It is surprising how even my little walks were helping sustain me! I've been feeling lots of real guilt because I haven't been obeying "walk everyday". The Lord has grace for injuries, but I'm able to walk again (though still a spot that is a little sore).

About ten years ago, we purchased a Needak rebounder trampoline. I've never been able to get serious about rebounding because of my rebounding chest (breasts)! Recently, I found a solution to this problem!

This morning, I was asking the Lord what I should do since I haven't been walking (nor dancing, nor Walking at Home). He gave me the idea to wear my "sports bra solution" and get on the rebounder.

IT WORKED!

I put on the dance music and a virtual walk YouTube video and bounced for almost 40 minutes! What a great workout, I feel GREAT! Apparently, I bounced 2.2 miles (3.5km)!!!

I timed myself at 120 "steps" (bounces) per minute, which is a much faster pace than I'd be walking outside. I had total control over what muscles I wanted to use and simply gently bounced and moved my arms as was comfortable (no set routine or movements). When my shins and feet started to hurt a little, I got on my knees to give them a rest! I can't believe I can bounce on my knees! This is AWESOME! I had to put shoes on for arch support. My lymphatic system is happy!

I started not watching the virtual walk...my mind needed something to focus on and it was just the ticket. Can't believe I did 40 minutes.

And I can't wait to do it again.

So I got thinking...is this something John could do with me if we got another trampoline?

I'm thinking I can get up at the same time everyday and do my rebounding exercise AND do it while the kids get ready for lights out. THAT would be some decent exercise!

Along that thought was combining some T-Tapp muscle scrunches, T-Tapp skin brushing system and THM eating plan. I'm not sure about all that, but I KNOW I can do this system of rebounding in the morning, at a minimum. Ah, I feel like I have my exercise back!

Search "walking virtual" for other videos.

Update: While the kids got ready for bed, I did another 30 minutes! I feel fantastic! I can't wait to get up early and do some more! YAY!

My Sports Bra Solution for Obese Woman

I have always had big boobs. Some would call me "a large breasted woman". Having large breasts has always made some exercises (movement!) difficult. Here's a little about my journey to figuring out how to take care of my boobs!

Before I had children, my only bras were underwires, but when I had children and started nursing, the underwires got shoved into the back of the drawer. I think this was the time I ordered my first custom non-underwire bra from Decent Exposures. Though they tell you how to measure yourself properly, I wanted some professional attention. Since I happened to live only a half hour away from their studio, I went in for a fitting.

I finished nursing my children and never went back to the underwire because no matter what I tried, I couldn't get the right fit (even with professional help). The center wires always stick out and poked my little infants/toddlers when I carried them. It was just more comfortable to wear the Decent Exposures bras.

As I gained weight, wearing an underwire became even more uncomfortable. So for years, I lived with the "droopy boob syndrome"...being comfortable but looking really frumpy.

I just didn't want to spend a lot of money on a Wacoal bra, so I bought less expensive bras which often would fall apart. My father-in-law told my mother-in-law to buy me a new Wacoal bra for my birthday one year(!)

She and I went to the department store in search of Wacoals and with her support (hee hee), we sifted through all the offerings and I finally found something that fit me. I did have to buy a back strap extender so it would go around my rib cage. I was relieved to find SOMETHING that worked...it covered me, gave me great support and didn't poke me. Of course, being short, the front wires still showed through my shirt, but I was still happy.

I've taken very good care of these bras. I wear my non-underwire on a daily basis at this time (for the comfort factor), but when I go out anywhere, I put on a good bra.

In preparation for an "outing" recently, I wanted to wear a white shirt and was wanting to smooth the appearance of the wires poking through, so I put my Decent Exposures bra OVER my Wacoal bra.

(jaw drops)

My boobs were in a straitjacket! I could still breath and move and my boobs were fixed! I couldn't believe the support I was getting from wearing these two bras together! Why hadn't I considered this before!?!?

Over the years, I've considered rebounding, but every time I started bouncing, I remembered why I couldn't do it as exercise...my boobs rebounded, too! The past week, I've been thinking about rebounding again...and with my sports bra solution, it is possible! Hooray!

Three Miles Today

Oh, here's a doozy! Here we are in front of my desk, watching Leslie Sansone do the easy one mile beginner walk on YouTube.  The past couple nights we've been walking a mile together. We even held hands a little! Love being able to exercise with my honey...we are doing something we've NEVER done before, this is exciting! And totally sustainable!

Oh my word, I did a brisk two mile walk video earlier today-it killed me! It was really hard! But I'm feeling kinda challenged to see what it will take to get me to a point where it's easy peasy...I walked THREE miles today! I feel so energized!

This is the tough two mile:
http://youtu.be/0cE1jxDS3HY

Two Miles This Morning

This morning, I got out of bed, put on my shoes and walked two miles right in front of my desk!

This one mile video link has better sound than the one listed below:
http://youtu.be/ykPr0t2KutY

For my second mile I did the brisk/fast walk:
http://youtu.be/A-i-3Isbk4A

I found a great deal on three DVDs on eBay for only $10...includes the mini-walks, 3 mile and 5 mile walks. I wonder if I'll be bored on the longer walks...I'm a little bored with the short one...we'll see.

I also did one set of T-Tapp's Primary Back Stretch and did it much better than yesterday.

What a great start to my day! I'm already looking forward to the one mile walk with John tonight...making three miles for the day! Whooohoooo!

UPDATE: We did not do our evening walk, I only did two miles today. :)

October 2013 Begin Again

I feel like I'm starting over. The past month or so, I've been floating along and have neglected drinking water, walking and generally doing what I need to do for my health.

In wanting to start some exercise, I decided to take some good before pictures with measurements. I think these photos look pretty good, I was hoping to take some photos that REALLY showed off my curves (ha ha) but for around 220lbs, this could be worse.

It doesn't really matter that I'm starting over or beginning again, what matters is that I KEEP GOING and I'm doing just that!

Thank you to my daughter for taking the photos!

My Walk at HOME and T-Tapp

As the days have gotten darker, colder and wetter, I haven't been walking. When school started, the roads got busy again. Somehow in the spring it wasn't as much of an issue, it seemed different. But this fall weather is really discouraging me in my walk. At the old house, I simply walked out the front door rain or shine. At the new house, I have to drive to my walk and I don't like it one bit.

I had a revelation the other day...I can walk INSIDE!

Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home is my answer! Why didn't I think of this before!?

I walked a mile today...all in 20 minutes and without leaving home-yay! This is the free one mile YouTube video I did today:
http://youtu.be/df2gn6-w0dE

I like that I did one mile and did it a lot faster with more impact than my walks outside. Each step stimulates the lymphatic system and this was way better than my half mile meandering stroll I've been taking recently. I find it difficult to find a brisk pace, so I think I don't push myself as hard as I should on my outdoor walks. I also like that it will be easy to "track" my improvement by changing up to longer distances. And if it turns out I only have a half hour, I can choose the right walk to fit my time constraints. I'm excited about doing this WITH my husband, too! No mental prep. No special clothes. Any time of day (or night)! Easy!

I also started the T-Tapp video Instructional #1. I did one Primary Back Stretch (yeeps, get those elbows back!) and I have a long way to go, but that's what I could manage today. I really think the T-Tapp is my answer to "Get Strong"!

A Reverse Journey

The only reason I'm posting today is so I have one post for my September archives. That is SO lame!

For the past month, I haven't been engaged at all with my weight loss process. I haven't binged out like I used to, but I just haven't...cared.

How can I not care!? Sometimes when I'm stuck, I come to my blog for inspiration. But I feel SO completely UNinspired.

I feel discouraged. I don't know if I'll ever eat another salad again. I feel that bad. I don't have any vision for even wanting to re-engage.

I'm not sure what to do. I can't go back, though if I don't move forward, moving back is inevitable. Maybe that's happening even now.

So what can I do to move myself forward?

I think I got a little twisted up with THM. I was feeling like if I couldn't do it 90%+ then why bother. That's kinda silly, though. I've had this idea that I get "one" shot at weight loss and I haven't wanted to engage because I don't know if it is going to be "it". This is wrong thinking. I have this weird idea. I don't want to keep my metabolism bouncing up and down. The way I think it should work is to be fat and then start a process of weight loss...not just hang around here and there losing the same five pounds. I need to turn away from this wrong thinking.

What is the right thinking?

The right thinking is obeying the Lord. Ah, how did I get away from THAT!? Duh.

(Praying)

OK, that was good!

I need to go back to the number one thing. I've done this before, and that's OK. With my very next step, I can be back on the path of righteousness again. And that path has to do with obedience to what the Lord has revealed to me.

Morning walk...Lord, what do I do? It is cold and dark and wet. I hate driving five minutes to my walk. I hate my walk. It is pretty boring. I used to challenge myself with more and more. I don't feel like I have time to extend my walks. My walk tastes like stale goldfish crackers. Blah. What can I do? I need the benefits of walking (even the short distance I've been doing). What now?

I ordered T-Tapp a couple weeks ago. I could do that instead of walking (since You said dancing was OK). I could take the walking back up in January. I seem to have trouble with the walks in October and December especially. I watched the first video last week. Need to know what I'm getting into, ha hahhaha!

OK. So tomorrow morning, up for T-Tapp. That would be obedience. Let's reverse this reverse journey!

Huh

Well...this is...interesting.

I've been having a lot of fun collecting data daily. No pressure. I'm just documenting these things:

-time in bed at night
-time out of bed morning
-did I walk?
-did I eat Fiber One?
-did I have 10 glasses (80oz) water?
-did I eat my daily salad?

I happen to weigh myself on July 15th, just so I could collect data. The scale read: 225.8

When I woke this morning, I wanted to weigh myself, just to collect data. I honestly did not expect any weight loss.

218.0

WHAT?

That's almost 8 pounds in one month. Seriously?

I'm OK with it. I feel terrific. I've been walking and I started eating breakfast Trim Healthy Mama style and adjusted my salad to be "S" by removing the garbanzo beans and sesame stix. I've added coconut oil to my diet and THM's "Skinny Chocolate". I'm working on our dinner fare.

All I can say is "interesting".

Breakfast System

I think I have a breakfast system (for now).

I'm allowing Fiber One and my omelet as an "E" meal. I don't know if Fiber One is really "on plan", but I don't care. It is on MY PLAN. :)

So this sweet little omelet is really FUN to make!

This is what I'm doing now...

-smidge of coconut oil in the pan
-tiny chunks of fresh broccoli, like 1/4 cup
-bit of jarred garlic
-salt & pepper (I use Montreal Steak seasoning)
-120g egg whites (I really don't need to weigh it, but for now I like having the separate bowl to use as a spatula-rest!)
-1/2 roma tomato (Really liking the bit of tomato (I over-bought on the romas for two weeks)! Could use 1T of salsa when I don't buy romas)
-maybe 2T 1/3 fat cream cheese, I just take a butter knife and scoop out maybe 5 little bits
-few leaves fresh baby spinach

YUMMO! Then I have a side of 30g of Fiber One with some unsweetened coconut milk (which I no longer measure) with a couple raspberries or blueberries!

I can switch up the omelet as needed to keep things interesting...low-fat Laughing Cow cheese, other veggies...if I want to turn it into an "S" meal, I'd toss in avocado and use whole eggs and maybe some slivers of salami.

But I eat "S" for lunch, so doing "E" for breakfast seems like a good idea so I'm not overeating on the fats (any more than I am)! And I really enjoy eating my salad as a satisfying "S" mid-afternoon, so I'll keep it that way for now.

I have to say, I get hungry pretty quick since I'm not eating the whole egg, though. That's OK, I'm still working with this. I think "E" meals are just that way.

When I arise at 6am, I've been eating a half of avocado before my walk. Then at 9am, eating the "E" meal, then around 1ish, eating the "S" salad which totally takes me through to dinner, especially if Skinny Chocolate was consumed for dessert!

Dinners are still up in the air.

Grocery Shopping

Once a week, my family goes grocery shopping. We start at Costco, eat dinner at the food court, shop, drive through the gas station that is between Costco and Fred Meyer and fill up the tank, then we finish shopping at Fred Meyer.

I LOVE this routine! I love having a break from cooking dinner on these nights, too.

So............the Costco food court isn't exactly.........healthy. It's CHEAP, but not particularly healthy.

What to do?

Our Costco is serving a new BBQ brisket sandwich...I asked to see the nutrition info on it (YEEPS!!!!!!) I think it is 73 carbs! It is a "trial item" so I don't know how long it will be around. But I've figured out if I don't eat the bun, I would guess that removes about half the carbs...and it still satisfies.

Instead of eating it "burger style" with my hands holding the bun and the beef oozing everywhere making a mess, I just take the buns off and eat it with a fork! It comes with a little coleslaw for crunch and I'm pretty sure it is full of sugar, because it is deliciously sweet. VERY satisfying!

So for now, that's what I'm doing for grocery nights (instead of pizza)!

(Most of the flowers on my blog are found on my morning walks...isn't this lily amazing!?)

It's Time

(photo taken before my walk this morning-6am sunrise!!!)

The past week, I've been in weight loss crisis.

I've been honest with myself. Nothing is happening because I'm not doing anything. I don't want to float along anymore. I've been comparing my weight loss journey to the personal/spiritual growth I've experienced over the past three years. I did a lot of things right in that process to move my life forward with the Lord. It seems like I'm NOT doing those good things in this process. I find it so interesting that the Lord gave me the steps AHEAD of time. Not so in my other process, it was always "per the moment", I never had revelation ahead of time. Virtually all of this process has been revealed and I've been practicing. Interesting.

I want to change that...NOW.

I'm DONE. It is "do it or quit". I can't just keep being willy-nilly. I'm making a list for myself WHY I want to lose weight. Hoping this will help motivate me as I'm expecting to enter into a 12 month serious effort to lose weight. I know what to do. I need to do it.

So I've been digging in the past few days to try to figure out what to do next.

I went back to the beginning.

The first thing the Lord told me was to WALK. I've done a great job obeying in this! But I'm lacking consistency, so I took a look at that evaluating what needs to happen there.

Since I can't walk if I'm snuggling in my sheets, the reality is...I must get out of bed in the morning. I've been sleeping in lately! I decided I need 30 days to get focused and getting up in the morning is on that list. I've been collecting data (for some reason when I "track" myself, I go nuts, so this is "collecting data" where there's no expectation, just get the numbers). There really IS a correlation between when I go to sleep and when I wake up! Early to bed, early to rise...

I did some searching online and found this little tidbit of info which recommends PRACTICING getting out of bed! During the day, get in bed, set the alarm to go off and GET OUT OF BED without hitting the snooze button. I'm trying to be in the sheets by 10:30pm and get up with NO snooze at 6am. Tomorrow will be Day 3...I am astonished that I haven't used the snooze like I was before!

The next thing, sugar. That is a hot topic. Today I stumbled onto a site that got me really pumped up and helped me identify in my MIND why I need to obey NO SUGAR even more.
Next thing, fiber. Done. I have Fiber One and lots of veggies in my salad everyday.
Next thing, water. Oooooh, water. Yes, I've been trying to drink 10 glasses for like a year! So let's do this thing! YESTERDAY was fantastic! I've finally figured it out! So easy to do this everyday! Done.

Next thing, get up earlier. Doing it!
Next thing, this is where I got a Shake Weight and started counting calories to see where I'm at.
Next thing, GET STRONG. This involves additional exercise beyond my morning walk. This is on the back-burner for right now while I get strong in my other disciplines.
Next thing, eat half of dinner. Eat LESS dinner. This area is causing a crisis. I'm really finding it nearly impossible to eat less dinner. Dinner is always something I like (since I'm the cook). My husband wants me to nix the yummy recipes and cook healthier. I wonder if I could eat half of a healthy meal?! This entire area is being rocked. So this area needs some attention.

Next thing, eat one salad a day. This has been amazing! I've spent the past 18 months having a salad for lunch everyday. Delicious! I'm getting really tired of making it, though...but I still like eating it! Trim Healthy Mama has caused me to take a look at my lunch. This is soooo good! I want my salad to be an "S" meal, so that means low carbs and higher fat. I've adjusted my recipe to include salmon for awhile, such a welcome change! And no beans, no sesame stix. I just can't live without the few dried cranberries, so those get tossed in even though they really aren't on plan. But we're talking a few carbs, which if I have the balsamic dressing, we're still really close.
SO...
to explain, no...to sum up:
-Walk Daily
-Abstain from Refined Sugar
-Drink 10 glasses of water daily
-Get Up Earlier
-Get Strong
-Eat half dinner
-Eat One Salad a Day

That's it. This is what I'm supposed to do. The rest of my time (one year or so) has been trying to get serious to do it all together (and we moved, which has played a part in this timeframe).

Now Trim Healthy Mama has come across my path. It is forcing a crisis that I have to figure out. What am I going to do with this information?

Today was good. I made some decisions and during this 30 days I'm going to make even more. What do I want after the 30 days?
-to have walked a good portion of those days
-to master drinking the water
-to be getting up at 6am
-to deal a death blow to sugar and have a breakthrough
-develop a system for eating less (and healthier) at dinner
-solidify my breakfast and lunches according to THM principles (one fuel only per meal, either fats or carbs, but not both together...this is not really a burden once I figure it out)

I have some goals for my family, one is to eradicate all soda consumption. Regular and diet soda are both death. I'm going to switch it out for Zevia...at least the kids. John will have to let that go on his own when he's ready.

Excited for tomorrow...better head to bed.

I've GOT IT!

Funny this has taken 18 MONTHS, but I've FINALLY figured it out. As a result of digging into what the Lord has told me, I needed to have success in the water category.

He's been telling me ten glasses. Ten. Non-negotiable. How much is ten glasses of water?

If a typical glass is 8 ounces...then ten of those would be 80 ounces. Eighty? That's not too much. I was thinking my 14oz glasses and having ten of those...which would be 140oz (nearly a gallon).

80. Huh.

That seems doable. I can do that if I use water bottles instead of my glasses.

Five 16.9oz water bottles covers the "ten glasses" (84.5oz to be exact).

So HOW?

Yesterday I tried filling a water pitcher, but it didn't all fit. And I don't like it sitting out all day...I want to be able to see how far I am throughout the day so I'm looking for a visual.

This morning, I wrote on my freshly cleaned whiteboard. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (bottles). And then, instead of crossing off the "1" and going UP, I crossed out the "5" and counted DOWN! The first two bottles are easy...I can do that without thinking. When I filled up for the third time, I crossed off the THREE...and THAT was awesome, because all I had left were the "1" and "2", which for some weird reason, felt LESS than if I had the "4" and "5" (!)

OH, in addition, I always lose my water bottle at home. It gets mixed up with all the other half full bottles, so I put a red rubber band on it. THERE.

Anyways, by 7pm, I had done it! WHOOHOOOO! I'm hydrated! Can't wait to do it again tomorrow! Yipppppeeeeee!

Salad Update

Ah! This new salad is AWESOME! It is SO FILLING and SO EASY!

60g lettuce
20g spinach
85g wild caught Alaskan salmon (often fresh!)
1/2 avocado
30g red pepper
12g red onion
1" slice cucumber
stalk of celery
3 sliced snap pea pods
1 hard boiled egg
10g sunflower seeds
just a few (5g) craisins
Newman's Own Lite Balsamic about 35g

This is really getting fun! I'm trying my hand at not weighing the sunflower seeds, craisins, red onion and red pepper. I've been trying to see how many "finger-fulls" it takes per portion. I've really spent the past 18 months learning about portions. I'm so grateful I've taken so much time crunching calories on my spreadsheets, because it has given me a whole new paradigm for portion sizes.

I haven't done the spreadsheet on this salad, but I don't feel like I really need to...I want to get away from relying on the scale and the calorie sheets, so this is a step toward that. I know it is right in where I need to be...maybe out of curiosity I'll do the sheet, we'll see.

On the salmon...I can buy a fresh filet at the deli, cook it up and get about four servings (from a $10 piece of salmon). I don't miss the sesame stix nor the garbanzo beans, which is SHOCKING. All the fat in the avocado, egg and salmon make this "S", so often I'll have a few small pieces of Skinny Chocolate* after my salad if I feel a sweet craving.

When I don't have a salmon slab, I grab my pre-prepared frozen chicken baggie for a substitute. Right now I'm loving the salmon, though.

I love my "new" salad!

*A note about "Skinny Chocolate"...the ingredients include:
-cocoa
-coconut oil (extra virgin, cold pressed)
-truvia
I CAN eat this! "Avoid obvious sugars" doesn't apply to this, because there's no blood sugar spiking SUGAR! Hooray! Though a bit on the bitter side, it totally satisfies! And a little skringe of peanut butter is heavenly! The last batch I made included chopped peanuts and unsweetened shredded coconut-YUM!

THM Day 1

The next (many) posts are going to be really boring...just me talking about what I'm eating.

It amazes me how far I've really come since I started this blog. I used to C R A V E sugar and carbs. I no longer drink cow's milk, rarely drink soda, don't eat chocolate like EVERY day, very rarely eat bread at all and I eat a ton more vegetables!

I started THM meals today! Just breakfasts this week, but I am quickly seeing how easy it will be to incorporate the plan with my salad. I'm just plain tired of making my salad, so I'm going to switch things up a bit.

This morning:
tiny smear of coconut oil (my new favorite food!)
egg whites
wedge 1/3 fat laughing cow cheese swiss
broccoli
spinach
garlic, salt & pepper

What a delicious breakfast! I think it is a Fuel Pull, when I thought I was going for E. So much to learn. So I added Fiber One to the meal for E.

Lunch I did some fancy footwork with my salad recipe, but I was counting the carbs from the veggies, so it wasn't satisfying at all, very low carb. I was really hungry after eating it and had a bit of Skinny Chocolate. Still hungry, so the 1/2C of 2% cottage cheese and a few raspberries finally took the edge off. I have a long way to go to figure this out!

Tonight I'm making my husband's favorite "lean and green" meal Dijon Chicken Broccoli, which happens to qualify as a Fuel Pull as well, unless in a sweet potato or something for the carb (maybe cheesy cauliflower)! I might just have a big plate of it and call it good. Fred Meyer was OUT of bulk quinoa, I wanted to come home with some.

(This photo almost doesn't look real! These sweeties were on my walk, I've been waiting a long time for them to bloom!)

What If?

As I've continued reading Thin Healthy Mama (tons and tons of recipes, fantastic!), I'm wondering...

WHAT IF?:
-I'm setting myself for a "diet" that I will eventually fail at (I don't want to do a diet!)
-this doesn't work for me
-what if I buy some of these new ingredients and don't like them
-what if I just don't like the plan and waste a bunch of time and money
-what if I'm veering away from my Spirit-led goal...is the Spirit leading me to do this?

I have a tendency to play devil's advocate with myself sometimes, just to "test" myself.

How else would the Lord lead me to something like this? He'd send a friend or a link or something! I think I owe it to myself to TRY IT and give it 100%, because if this really is the blessing it appears to be from the Lord, I wouldn't want to not embrace it.

I been making my old "fatty" recipes and my husband recently asked me to cook more healthy. I made a switch to healthier recipes last year and then slid back to my comfortable recipes. I just couldn't get up the gumption to go back to (what I felt were) "boring" healthy recipes. I haven't known what to do for dinners...this really could be a good thing to help me in that direction.

I'm going to give it all a try. There is a steep learning curve. I need to encourage myself that I know more today about it than I did yesterday...so keep going.

We grocery shop tomorrow, I'm going to try a few recipes for dinners and see how that goes. I'm dreadfully bored with making my 15 ingredient salad, it might be nice to take a little break from it and do something else.

Lord, how does all this fit into what you've been telling me to do? Do I adopt this eating plan (hoping it a permanent change)? Do I eat my same breakfast? Salad? Do I just do this for dinners? Or drop what I've been doing and jump into their plan?

I'm so amazed at how much I agree with everything they are saying. It's like it is just taking what I've been doing to the next level. Maybe this is just the next step. I don't want to give glory to a "diet program" when I lose weight. This has been a process, maybe this book is simply a tool. Wondering how to get started when I feel so ignorant at this point. More time reading?

Trim Healthy Mama Post 1

(photo credit Trim Healthy Mama)

Yesterday, my friend Lara I. visited and shared with me this 600+ page book called Trim Healthy Mama. I purchased the ebook formats in PDF (.pdf), Kindle (.mobi), other reader (.epub) versions here for only $19.95. I quickly realized that I will want the actual paperback book, so I ordered that, too. I started reading it last night after she left and then again this morning.

 

I'm actually REALLY EXCITED about this.

 

I've done food combining in the past, but as I read, I realize all that they are saying is information I've been collecting over the past few years...like understanding:

-insulin resistance

-that spiking blood sugar is actually what makes us fat

-the need for healthy fats

-eggs are GOOD for you!

-butter is not evil!

-animal protein is not evil!

There are lots of people who think animal protein (MEAT), dairy and many other things aren't meant for human consumption, but I've always disagreed on a basic level. Of course, people are allergic to foods, that's not what I mean. And of course, the quality and source of meats and dairy makes a big difference.

 

I also think this is going to be highly sustainable for me. One of the reasons this is even possible is because of all the veggies I've been eating since last year. I've completely broken off the sugar addiction I used to experience every single day. (I used to eat chocolate every day for years). I've been eating the same breakfast for virtually 18 months (and I would welcome some healthful variety)! I guess all the things the Lord has been telling me to do have led up to this (including learning how to plan and prepare meals for my family over the past two years)! I'm READY for this, it won't be too many changes at once!

 

What I didn't realize is that eating healthy fats with carbs produces weight gain. I'm speaking about all of this apart from calories consumption. ANYTHING is going to put on the pounds if too many calories are consumed. You can never get away from the numbers, portions must be a limiting factor...and I would contend that if I overate on their plan, I'd gain weight (I would assume that they'd be in agreement). So they separate meals as "healthy fat-based" and "carb-based", but each meal has a protein anchor.

 

I'm starting to feel like the Lord provided my friend, particularly on yesterday's day of surrender, to bring me what I need! I'm going to keep reading and figure out what I need to do. There's a great review of the book here and a "getting started" PDF here. I'm aiming at starting in the next two weeks.

 

When Am I Going to Surrender?

I've been tracking a few things for a couple weeks. Not tracking "critically", but just to collect the data. What time I go to bed and get up, when I start and stop my walk. Did I eat my salad? Did I walk? This is helping me be honest with myself. It is also inspiring me back to a steady routine of walking. I cut back my distance (which takes longer) so I can easily get back home before my husband leaves for work. Even though I'm walking a short distance, I'm DOING IT!

I don't want to take another year to obey and surrender. It's been a year since the Lord told me what I needed to do. I've done everything BUT "eat half of dinner". I really DO want to do this, to get healthy and lose weight and be FREE of the strong hold food has over me. I'm done. I don't want to resist ANY MORE. I can see when I eat half of dinner, I'll be in that 1200 calorie range, and that is where I want to be to lose weight.

I've been trying to "think" my way into this, which is not the way I've gained victory in other areas! I need to SURRENDER, yield...I know what to do.

Thesaurus.com : abandonment, abdication, acquiescence, appeasement, capitulation, cessation, dedition, delivery, giving way, relenting, relinquishment, renunciation, submission, succumbing, white flag, yielding

I personally like the word "abandonment" and "yielding". I want to throw myself on the Lord and abandon myself to His Love. The word involves willingness to give it up. I give it up, Lord. Not in "give up" as in stop trying, but "give up" as in yielding my perceived right to control it.

I'm going to stop skimming the surface, I'm digging deeper into my attitudes about surrendering. I've surrendered in other areas, so I know what it looks like and I know what victory looks like, too. So I was making comparisons to my process of winning my kids' hearts...I know what to do! This encourages me.

This morning on my walk I realized I've been lying to myself. I was thinking about eating half. That's it. That's where I am. I'm SO CLOSE. I need to push through, so what's stopping me?

One thing I believe is that I don't have control. I was just posting on a Facebook group I'm a member of that very thing, I DO have control over my faculties. I CAN STOP.

So my first step starting NOW (with regards to eating half of dinner) is to STOP at half. And then deal with the fallout of that by processing with the Lord and crying out to Him for help in the moment. I have control over my faculties to DO THAT. I'm going to DO IT. I'm going to STOP at half.

TODAY'S PRINCIPLE IS: I have control over my faculties. I don't want to lie to myself anymore that I can't stop. The truth is (was) I won't stop...and that is going to go. I will exercise control by STOPPING at half. Thank you Lord.

BEGINNING AGAIN

I've decided to "begin again" instead of resisting the Lord.

I like to track myself with certain things, so I'm going to do that again. I'm going to weigh myself everyday just for the data aspect of it and the ease of doing it with my shoes on after my walk. I'm going to do the things He has for me to do.

I set my alarm for 6am and got out the door to walk at 7am. Not too bad considering I've been sleeping in a lot. The higher desire got me out of bed.

I'm excited to make my salad today and obey what the Lord has put in front of me! I'm going to start tagging these future posts with "2013".

UPDATE: The Lord provided a friend who inspired me today. She was explaining how she calculates how much she can have for dinner (before she loads her plate) and how she is taking puny servings and how she hasn't adjusted to these smaller portions yet. As she's continued, her stomach is smaller so she feels more full. This really inspired me today, thank you Lord!

(photo was a collaboration of several friends, thank you!)