Sugar-Free Me

I'm interested to weigh in tomorrow. It has been a VERY good week.

My daily goals are:
-daily vitamins
-morning walk
-5 glasses of water
-daily breakfast (fiber one and egg)
-daily salad

I've been giving myself a "zero" or "one for each goal, for each day. So a "score" of 5 would be "perfect"...I've had several 5s this past week! YAY! My walks are just "get out the door and walk around the block"-type walks, but I'm doing them! Soon, I'll be going farther again.

So...here's what my days have looked like...this past week, when I got serious about surrendering the area I did not want to give up (stop eating obvious refined sugars, which means CANDY), I went through sugar withdrawl for a few days...headaches and severe cravings. He is FAITHFUL! When I had cravings, knowing I was NOT going to eat sugar, I cried out to Him to help me...and I made it through! I was encouraged knowing each day that I would not be tempted non-stop, but the temptations would present themselves periodically...and I knew that I could handle running to Him with each "incident" of temptation knowing that I was going to obey, but depending on Him to help me through the actual craving.

Ah! HUGE to experience His love and care for me. He loves my obedience and I can say today that I am loving the way I feel and the excitement over the belief I have for actually being obedient!

Tomorrow, I'm hoping the scale reflects a week of no sugar...it would be super cool to be under 220...not sure if that will be, but we'll see. Sugar is an inflammatory and I'm so NOT inflamed! :)

I've been making green smoothies for two days....interesting! I think these will come in really handy as an afternoon snack or even to boost my calories for breakfast since I don't really have enough for breakfast! I'm really surprised how they last in the frig without separation. I've been planning to plant a veggie garden and now I have some ideas for what I want to grow (parsley, mixed greens, shortie carrots). I never really wanted a veggie garden (flowers-yes) because I knew we wouldn't eat them! With the green smoothies, there's hope for more veggie intake! Wondering about sweet potatoes in smoothies...I think that would be quite tasty.

Surrendering Each Incident

Being Spirit-led is very personal. I established this blog for myself, but in the back of my mind, I know someone, sometime, might read my personal journey, someone who doesn't really know me. For this reason, I've been holding back some of my more intimate details, because, well, they're intimate. But I need to document these wonderful things the Lord has been showing me because I believe it is really critical in my journey.

The past few days I've been wrestling with what I believe the Lord is telling me and what I'm willing to do. I've discovered something...I am not surrendered. As the months have gone by, I've become more propelled by my own strength. This has been a revelation and something I've repented of. The Lord WANTS to do this work in me...and I'm not cooperating.

So I started to delve into that and guess what? I don't want to die! I don't want to die to my flesh, don't want to take up my Cross, don't want to deny myself (whatever I want), don't want to not eat sugar, etc.

This is THE problem. And I've been thinking about it this week and crying out to the Lord to bring me to a point of true surrender. I am totally SICK of all this, I'm tired of not surrendering myself, tired of being fat, tired of being miserable in this struggle (of which, lately, I haven't struggled at all) and even thinking that this isn't the area He wants to work in-hello!?!

I was thinking back to the past two years and how much I've grown to know the Lord. And I've been thinking about what that process looked like...all this talking with the Lord and thinking about this brought me to realizing that in the past, I would connect with the Lord over each "incident" that required surrender. And over a couple years of going through this dying to my selfish ways day after day after day, He's done a huge work in me. And I began to see the parallel...there are many "incidents" each day when I'm tempted with food. I started asking myself, "why am I not connecting in these incidents in the way I was doing before when my self-centeredness would rise up"?

Yes, indeed.

So, today was a GREAT day! I know that these tempting incidents don't happen relentlessly, all day long. They come here and there-what a hope! But when they do come, I need to focus my attention on the Lord and surrender. I am in control of my faculties, I can NOT bring that item to my mouth and I can cry out to Him for help.

Today this happened only twice. And both times I was craving sugar after a meal. BUT NO SUGAR, non-negotiable, so this became an incident and He helped me overcome. This journey is about one little incident after another until one or two years is behind me. I made a new spreadsheet to help me simply track each day (instead of using the little books)...it is helping me see the next 365 days and how important each day really is.

The Lord is so good to me...He's told me what I need to do. And it really isn't difficult at all (when I'm surrendered)! When I eat my breakfast and then salad, I'm not hungry until about 4pm. And if I stay UNhungry, I don't have many issues, temptations or incidents (for the most part). If I keep walking in what He's told me over and over and over-every day, and dealing with tempting incidents that crop up in real time, and just keep going, that would be cooperating! And then my way is sure!

What encouragement I have today! What a turn-around! I no longer feel weary about tracking water or anything else...I'm actually quite excited. My focus is on SURRENDER and not the other things/tasks.

I did not even think to weigh this morning, so I think I'll weigh in the morning. :)

(This photo was taken earlier this week. I hate that half my face is CHIN! I hate that big tire around my middle. This is so not who I really AM anymore and I want nothing to do with it. What a wonderful day of surrender...and a step farther away from the fat that holds me back).