When Am I Going to Surrender?

I've been tracking a few things for a couple weeks. Not tracking "critically", but just to collect the data. What time I go to bed and get up, when I start and stop my walk. Did I eat my salad? Did I walk? This is helping me be honest with myself. It is also inspiring me back to a steady routine of walking. I cut back my distance (which takes longer) so I can easily get back home before my husband leaves for work. Even though I'm walking a short distance, I'm DOING IT!

I don't want to take another year to obey and surrender. It's been a year since the Lord told me what I needed to do. I've done everything BUT "eat half of dinner". I really DO want to do this, to get healthy and lose weight and be FREE of the strong hold food has over me. I'm done. I don't want to resist ANY MORE. I can see when I eat half of dinner, I'll be in that 1200 calorie range, and that is where I want to be to lose weight.

I've been trying to "think" my way into this, which is not the way I've gained victory in other areas! I need to SURRENDER, yield...I know what to do.

Thesaurus.com : abandonment, abdication, acquiescence, appeasement, capitulation, cessation, dedition, delivery, giving way, relenting, relinquishment, renunciation, submission, succumbing, white flag, yielding

I personally like the word "abandonment" and "yielding". I want to throw myself on the Lord and abandon myself to His Love. The word involves willingness to give it up. I give it up, Lord. Not in "give up" as in stop trying, but "give up" as in yielding my perceived right to control it.

I'm going to stop skimming the surface, I'm digging deeper into my attitudes about surrendering. I've surrendered in other areas, so I know what it looks like and I know what victory looks like, too. So I was making comparisons to my process of winning my kids' hearts...I know what to do! This encourages me.

This morning on my walk I realized I've been lying to myself. I was thinking about eating half. That's it. That's where I am. I'm SO CLOSE. I need to push through, so what's stopping me?

One thing I believe is that I don't have control. I was just posting on a Facebook group I'm a member of that very thing, I DO have control over my faculties. I CAN STOP.

So my first step starting NOW (with regards to eating half of dinner) is to STOP at half. And then deal with the fallout of that by processing with the Lord and crying out to Him for help in the moment. I have control over my faculties to DO THAT. I'm going to DO IT. I'm going to STOP at half.

TODAY'S PRINCIPLE IS: I have control over my faculties. I don't want to lie to myself anymore that I can't stop. The truth is (was) I won't stop...and that is going to go. I will exercise control by STOPPING at half. Thank you Lord.